The dilema and the road ahead!

Well its been another long time since i posted anything here. I have survived the first term of my college life pursuing my dream job as a game designer with 5 more terms to go. Study in the day, worked the night shifts and juggle a freelance job designing games. Lost like 5 kilos of weight in my 2 weeks start in a new diet and a new resolve to keep things going.

Its been good and happy thinking of what I am doing and what I achieved,reflecting on what I had done since the end of the year is coming to a close. Not everything is going smoothly however i might be sent to do some job hunting because the company decides to change its working policies and give us a month in notice before the change. It does not allow permanent night shifts anymore which makes it hard for me to follow because my class are in the day. So I'm feeling the highs and lows as this is the new hurdle I have to get myself across.

Christmas is around the corner and it always drags my mood down knowing that it will be another lonely night sleeping in bed wishing for something that I don't have =p. Happens every year just like my birthday. Its the only 2 days in a year where I have the urge to isolate myself and start sulking on the what ifs and what could. Heck =) we are not perfect and for me it beats bottling all the feelings and pretend nothing is wrong in which my personal opinion will make a person explode and go crazy.

Keep smiling is the best I can do for now and the only thing I know how to keep. Till i have more to tell. Laterzzz.

The Desperado!

As I'm happy and crying deep down inside with sadness (Don't think so) I munched down a Big Mac set without having much pity for the cow that provided this heavenly meal. Just barely passed 2 weeks of wheat bread and tasteless food I lost my cool and went straight to a McD counter and ordered my first fast food set. IT TASTE DAMN GOOD I TELL YA! KEEP YER HANDS OFF MY FRIES!!(Smacks my thieving friend)

I went totally bonkers there and then and I never felt happier.....except for the guilt part right after I finish digesting it after a few hours in the office. When I realized what i have done, damn it was just pure depression. Self control over food is the least of my concern before = = from eating nice and tummy full food to just plain and half the portion seem to amp up my cravings more. At times during the 2 weeks I sometimes just go to sleep if i feel hungry.... mom usually always right, I hate it but its the truth. She said that eating less is fine but skipping a meal would make you wanna eat more when you have your next meal.

Damn!! Begone Evil Spirits!! (Images of fast food mascots)

Till i have more to write, laterzzz

Argh!! I have been missing for so long!

Ugh sorry first to myself for not updating my own blog. Sorry to someone who is peeping into my blog previously, didn't know there were that many but thanks. Anyway the last day of Pangkor Island was spent sleeping all the way home after a densely stuffed lunched of seafood sponsored by our bosses.

Now an update on my current self, I started college =) and I'm loving every moment of it. It feels damn good to be around people with the same interest and people who knows what you are practically talking about. Though my schedule is packed and and hardly have time for other things i feel satisfied even with the lack of sleep I'm having.

Well other than that I've been in and out of the hospital for check ups and observation due to some out of the ordinary complications. Doctor says due to the lack of sleep I have my blood pressure hoisted up a little and I'm being put on a diet to reduce weight Pronto! Chop Chop! Did some test and my glucose level is normal and all i need is lots and lots of fruits.

I have been neglecting the treadmill and giving myself an excuse that I still need more time to adjust to my new busy schedule but I know real well that I can take it on anytime.....then i found a second excuse......my earphones were dead...I can't jog till i get some music to my ears when I'm runnin. Even knowing this much I refuse to budge and move towards the direction of the endless running contraption. I think I need a nice hug and a word of support = =. Having some stress relief taken from me is a little hard since I'm on a diet.

No list for 2 months
1. McD
2. KFC
3. Pizza
4. Cookies
5. Fried Food

Its mental torture when your working next to a mall with lots and lots of FOOD~. But HECK! After all this is done with I might enjoy the fruits of my labour, a healthier me. (Ugh i dreamt of having a nice sushi buffet)

I kidnapped my home toaster and brought it to the office, there alot of predators and violators want to have their hand at the toasty fella. One of my workmates brought a whole loaf just to have it work to finish the whole loaf of bread. Well its good since I can save my pocket from the constant spending i use to have on food.......I somehow miss that evry much.

O well till I have more updates, Laterzzzz!

Return of THE FAT ZOMBIE! (Pangkor Day2)

Sorry for the late late late late updates, I apparently had myself visit the clinic due to the common cold, got some time out, resume work for a short while and ended up visiting the hospitals emergency ward over a bloody nose that did not stop bleeding after it started pouring out of my nostrils for 45 minutes and another 25 minutes AFTER I saw the doctor. = = rough calculation and assumption I lost like a nice amount of blood. My head felt light like a butterfly and my mind lacks the sting and sharpness of a bee. I'll write this in another blog update =p now to continue on my Pangkor Island trip.















I forgot to show it on the first day blog update, this is how my room looks like during our stay =). On the second day we are to meet up early in the morning we are being rounded up like cattle to the field area to group up with those we met yesterday. My eyes reluctantly opened themselves for the activity that awaits all of us. The theme of this activity is "FISHY BUSINESS". Immediately what comes across my mind is having us catch some fish in a bucket or something like that. My mark was not far away but instead of a bucket we were to catch fish at the shallow waters of the beach.

We were all guided to the beach and into the waters where we take a group picture of everyone present before we start the activity. I saw them carrying a box of already small dead fishes fresh from the market. The thing we need to do is catch and collect as many fishes as we can being thrown and flung into the air by the activity organizers. Well its more complicated than a simple catch and collect, vultures (players from another team) roam the waters and will just grab what you already collected by force if they cant get any. Plundering is not against the rules so we did have one or two fishes stolen. At the end of the time limit everyone was to get out of the water and head to the fields again where we count our spoils of war. We got 43 fishes which placed us second to the winner of 55 fishes.

We are then asked to cook the fish as part of the second event which followed, those who had the most fish gets to go first and pick the ingredients and there are only limited amount of ingredient available with the points earned with the number of fish caught. We are to buy the ingredient with those points and I wish I have gone and picked it instead of 2 girls that hardly know nuts about cooking but luckily I gave my 2 cents on what we must have and they can shoose whatever they think we can use with the remaining points....no use cryin over spilled milk. Not all girls these days cook for they eat out more than eat in at home because of a busy lifestyle. So we have the list of things like :

1.Chili
2.Butter
3.Ginger (Useless)
4.Garlic
5.Pineapple
6.Curry Powder (Useless)

So the useless items are the balance points which the girls spent on. = = I'm a bit of a coward when someone ask me am I confident in anything, even though I know cooking fish like this a simple job but it ended up complicated with more than one person taking charge of things. So I was asked to leave the cooking to the girls (I worried a little) and help them do a 3rd activity which is sand castle building. Its something I love to do and =D damn I know what the heck to do since i was a kid. Won a few sand castle competition during my younger times and I'm proud that this is the most confident event I think I can do with.

As usual, someone always tells me what I'm doing is wrong so they took over and what they created was a heap of sand with a person buried with his head exposed....... it looks like the Pharoh's Tomb and with the traditional representitive of chinese offereing to the dead with 3 sticks planted to the ground like incents. Well there is nothing I can do there since they are having fun with it so I went back to the fields where the field where the fish is cooked. Nothing much I can do there too, the pineapple was being roasted & the fish being cooked. Well all that is left is presentation of the food cooked, being the son of a former F&B manager. I know the in's and outs of food judging so I might as well try to strike some points in presentation by making a nest of papaya leaves, fan like leaves and lots of flowers (The resort gardener is gonna kill me if he catches me doing what I did) I basicly took a knife and started hacking the bushes and trees for their leaves and flowers. I was reliefed I wasn't the only crook doing it =p. So the nest looked nice and pretty with the fish in the middle.......and we put the offering of cooked fish in front of the tomb and waits for the judge to come.

The amount of smiles and laughter we got from the judges was hillarious as our team leader explains what the theme is about with the tomb and fish. O well, its over and I can relax and enjoy the rest of the event looking at other peoples work.

The activity ended and we are all free to do what we like in the resort so I took a nice long nap in the room to prepare for the barbeque dinner we will be having for our last night spent in the resort. There will be an activity and prizes for the best dressed participants in the dinner event. It was an eye opener to see my superios wearing bikini and cross dressing with stuff napkins to increase the size of their artificail boobbies. The won the event hands down and it gaved me some memorable laughs (Gut cramp! UGhH!).

The dinner ended with the anouncement of the winning team, the best dressed and also some words of wisdom from the bosses. We went back to the rooms and played some cards and then off to bed to prepare for the journey home to KL.


More updates laterzzzzz . Still tired >_<

Return of THE FAT ZOMBIE! (Pangkor Day1)

I'm back from my Pangkor Island vacation! It was paradise to my eyes~ the white sandy beach which glimmer with the daylight! A blue ocean rushing to the shores and pulling back slowly like an open invitation saying "Jump in you bubbly beanie bag!" With the coconut tress waving hello and the birds flying by. MAN! I can almost cry. . . . . . sure did beat my pass experience in Langkawi Island.

We traveled by bus for 4 hours and took a 20 minute ferry ride to reach the island. We then took a shuttle and checked ourselves into PANGKOR ISLAND BEACH RESORT. The reception was cozy and everyone was amped up and excited to get into the rooms, my room mate was Nic. A friendly decent chap with an interest in games the same as i do (i was happy). First order of business when I entered the room was to look around the setting and indulge my curiosity in the room service menu (Evil Grin!!) I was stunned for a good 30 seconds when i flip the first page. A fruit juice that cost RM20++, ordinary Nasi Lemak with chicken priced at RM25++. It would be over my dead body if I were to spend my money over some room service like this.

After that went to the coffee house for our lunch. I scanned through the food there and my food sense told me only a few things are edible for a gourmet like me, I went for the thai style fish fillet with some salad. I skipped everything else that I saw which were the, fried rice, braised chicken, tom yam soup, chili prawns and some messed up dishes which mixes beef strips with onions & cucumber. The fish i ate was bad, tasted weird with an after taste like soap and the thousand island sauce which was tasteless. I did not go for deserts after that coz i doubt it would be any better. = = my suspicion was on the mark when i heard whispers of complains on the food coming from my vacation buddies. I would rate it a 4star plus hotel with sucky food = =. But complaints can only go as far as that coz the boss is playing for the trip.

After lunch we had our workshop activities where we gathered up for a session of "Get to know the people around you" It is like 120 people from the company participated the trip. The group was huge and as usually most of us stick close to those we are familiar with. Then we formed a group and started playing the first game which is to see who can stack the highest balloons without the need to support it. Each team was given 20 balloons and we broke 3 at the start of the game (ugh not optimistic about this since there is more than one person in charge of planing it was chaos) The best option available was to keep quiet and enjoy the game. We got it tall enough but lacks in support = = the wind my tip it over. The surprise came in when = = the opposing team is to pop 3 balloons from your team. Those still left standing would be taken into consideration to see if they are the highest among the surviving balloon towers. It only took 1 balloon popped to make our tower crying out "TIMBER!!"

So the first event is over and the next even requires us to make shoes out of card board boxes that can hold 10 egg and keep them from breaking in a trial of running, jumping and foot fights. Poorly chosen candidate which I dare not mention was the model for our prototype egg shoe. She not the athletic type and more of a flimsy one was more worried that if the egg breaks her feet will go ew. So we finished our egg shoe and gets ready for the trial, first trial (introduction and fashion sense) ours are named TRANSFORMER BOOTS (don't ask me further or thou shall venture to the gate of hades chambers!). Our second trial was a jump trial, participants are to jump 10 times with their egg shoe. Our model bent her legs and leaped with all her might in the jumps! I was amazed at the height she reached, each jump was barely 1 millimeter off the ground. Wow she is a pro! The third event was the race event, our model took he sweet time and walked walked like a queen with elegance towards the finish line (slaps face). The last and dealiest trial! The foot ware battle, = = oh dear, OH DEAR!! I don't think the guys took pity on her. She neither have the what it takes to keep her egg shoes from being crushed by the guys nor have the will to stomp on others. We loss to our manners of being polite *Choke choke*. Anyway it was fun making fun =p.

Then the events are up and we all went for a dip in the pool. It has been a long while since I showed my flabby self in public and ignored what went on. Ahhh it was relaxing, we then cleaned up and prepared ourselves for dinner.

= = Skeptical about the food i'll be eating all i did was go with the safe choices where even the most inexperience of chefts and cooks might not go wrong that bad. I took spegetti with some tomato fish. My experienc in food let me made the right choices and i see my friends come to the table with a pile of food and were unable to finish it off. The taste is still a negative, for deserts the fruits are the safest choice where preparation is of minimal need from the chefs.

A few round on the pool table with some drinks are all it takes for us to end the night and go to bed. Day 2 will be continued later on =p

Creativity outside the box

People always say think outside of the box but how do you usually do it? For starters understand the meaning of the phrase itself, the box refers to the normal context or limitation that one put into ideas which are commonly thought of. Thus thinking within the box makes you produce the same thing over and over with just minor changes within the normal method that does not gives you a significant outcome in whatever your ideas are.

A box does not have to be square, a cup does not have to be cylindrical. What we see mostly in the shelves of supermarkets and departmental stores are the many example of over-used ideas that does not need the capacity to think nor waste time on. But if you think carefully, if everyone uses the same ideas over and over and compare it to those who create normal objects to something unique. Which one of them would be remembered more? I'm sure you know which is more memorable among the millions of products which you see having the same features.

First of all, throw away any limitations and boundaries you have on the normal ideas people usually come up with. Even if you are talking about a simple T-shirt, mug, flowers or whatever you wanna use. The goal is to make it "Unique" in terms of ingenuity and creativity in its design. This applies greatly in advertising and production industries. Roses do grow in red,white, orange & pink. You can also make blue, violet, green or rainbow colored roses. Hehehehe not gonna explain how you make em. Just find it out on your own. People who made these made themselves stand out among the normal creators because they think what others would not go through the hassle of doing.

There are a lot of people I know always design things that looks cliche, well going by the book might be safe but these days competition is what we call survival of the fittest. First of all you need to know what is WOW and what is normal. Before we actually be able to create something out of the ordinary, exposure is very very important. Because if you look at the masterpieces of others and compare it to normal works, you will see the difference between whats WOW, GREAT, GOOD, NORMAL, SO SO, BAD and the YUK! Slowly learning the skills to differentiate the details needed to grade people work is essential. Because you can learn what makes it good and what does not work.

Understanding in the nature of the work is needed, there are a huge majority of people who says this a painting is good but failed to explain why. Why is that? The answer is lack of understanding and knowledge on what makes it good. Man it gets on my nerves one time when my lecturer tells one of my mates that her design is bad but refuses to explain why. Not to be a buzz kill but critique sessions are for that very reason for the lecturer to explain her views on why it is bad in the first place and why is it better to try another method. I somehow got a feeling that lecturer does not understand the need to explain or she is inexperienced enough to say anything besides "I like that" and "I don't like that".

Remember that within your creativity to make something unique, there must always be an explanation to your work as to what you use, why you use it, what does it represents and also why do you choose to to display it in such manner. If you can't explain your own work, who can?


That is all for now. Laterzz!

Creating, Designing & Revamping (Idea Vs Time)

Hmm since I mainly do game concept designs, I realize that there is one very important aspect when it comes to the topic of IDEA Vs TIME. The main problem with ideas are they are not yours only, in the world most probably thousands have thought of what you think is a GREAT IDEA or GREAT CONCEPT, but the catch is how many of these thousands will step up to claim that this so called idea is theirs?

Creating & Designing
1. Well this is not really hard if you have the right head and interest in what you like to do. Ideas comes out from everywhere you go and whatever you think. Being a critic helps out a lot because you are able to evaluate every aspect of your idea to a certain degree and have the right company to give feedback about what you have come up with. Being open to suggestion is also very important for it allows us to modify and not narrow ourselves to an idea that only caters to a small percentage of people.

2. To whom are the ideas targeted at? This is a question many forgot to ask themselves when they try to create something. Questions like age group, work group, income group, interest and available resources are the main essential things that helps you evaluate your targeted group. The second step is to understand the people who are in your target group like in the area of their liking, habit and also their views on the idea itself.

3. Are there any variation to what you have created published by other people in the internet? Well like I said above that ideas are not yours alone so to know that if you can make it your very own, check if any other people has already done it or have something similar. Lawsuits on copyright issues are very sticky matter, better be safe than sorry is what I would say. Which of these veteran ladies have it originally done? Dolly Parton or Pammy Anderson?

It is actually a race between the creators and pioneers to push and publish their findings or discoveries to actually name it as theirs. I have created alot of game ideas and concepts but it will only be recognized if it got published in a game and sold commercially. Unfortunately for me in Malaysia the gaming industries are so tiny that getting into a studio requires you to have a degree and portfolios comes secondary. Not to mention with the economic crisis, not much investors are willing to spend let alone invest in a place where the government are not fully transparent about its policies. = = Singapore is my second best chance but heck I still need to graduate before I get to try out somewhere further.

Revamp
As time pass by, you will notice what you originally created while starring at a blank wall long ago is being used somewhere in another part of the world. Don't be surprise because eventually someone is bound to wind up with the same ideas you do and they have the means and resources to carry it out and bring it out to the world as something complete. I actually don't find it as a negative thing to deal with because it has its perks if the idea is published by another person instead of yourself.

The very first thing is to see the public responses to the application of the idea itself. Sometimes base on statistics alone ain't gonna tell you that you would have a guarantee of how many people will go after your product. So if the response is good it means that you are on the right track and the only thing left is to use what you created and tweak it so that it does not resembles the work of the person who already got it out first or do something entirely better than what you have already thought of.

Sometimes what we thought of to be a great idea isn't that great in reality, that is where trial and error comes to play. Always listen to your elders =P they have taken in more salt and butter than we have before we were born and they know more. But that does not mean you have to follow what they say hehehehe (Evil Grin) As time change, so does the culture of the people. Knowing what your seniors had been through and the problems they have encountered can save you a lot of precious time from repeating their mistakes. Time is of the essence! But heck sometimes we give in to our stubbornness and end up learning the hard way. On a few special occasion, being bull headed helps you create something daring & bold that no one would ever think of venturing BUT it works. You can call it what every you want, genius, prodigy, eccentric, crazy or just plain lucky bastard.


Till I have more to write about =) laterzzz.

Company Trip to Pangkor Island

Yay, I'll have a chance to go on a company trip next month to Pangkor Island. This might be my last vacation getaway before class starts at the end of next month. I'm exited because I love the beach =D, and i heard snorkeling is a blast there from some of my friends.

But wait . . . . . I seemed to recall my last company trip when I was working in Low Yat plaza as a Computer sales personnel. It was more painful than fun from what I can recall in this very moment. It was a 3 days 2 night trip to Langkawi. I vividly remember the day where I happily packed my bag waiting with my friends outside of my house for our taxi to take us to the airport. My bro Ericc lost his shoes at the check in, I got hyper just getting a chance to go anywhere, Billy was being his silly self by being blur to the point of stupidity telling cold jokes while the others are half asleep waiting to board the plane. Mr.Wong our manager was complaining about the outrageous price of RM9 nasi lemak he had (I advised him to look before he leap)

Alas we reach Langkawi, the air was cool and it was drizzling a little. We rented 2 cars and took a 15 minutes drive to the resort hotel. First order of business is to check in, rest up and then go into town for some shopping. We bought lots and lots of CHOCOLATE to take home and I also have to stuff in 2 boxes of cigarettes for my aunt because its tax free. When night came we went back to the resort and then plundered the buffet table. Karaoke was our next event, this is when things start to go wrong, in there we sang and sang and the big boys drink and drink. = = it was the first time I am forced to drink Chivas without watering it down with coke (Damn Mr.Wong). 2 glasses was the max I could take and thank my lucky stars, my boss was looking out for me and I was spared from being drowned with alcohol by the half drunk Mr.Wong. Billy tried acting tough and drank like a donkey with a bottle up his ass. = = 3 decisive and direct shots of Chivas+Martel was all that took to take him out.

Me and my buddy Ericc volunteered to take the poor Billy back to the room, man that was when embarrassment and horror surfaced in that trip. Billy still being a little conscious but way out of his mind tried to walk on his own. Like a true master of chinese martial arts, he managed to walk like a drunkard master ready to embrace the cold hard floor with his face. As friends we did not let that happen. When we reached the elevator, Billy was banging the elevator door saying "Let me in baby! Let me in!" It basically stunned me and Ericc that Billy had this side of him. . . .when it opened we lift the drunkard in and it was hell inside when he started to scream "Open up! Open up!" The very moment the door opened he dashed out and fell flat on the floor, we did not know what to do with the sorry fella. So we decided to drag him by his feet since he doesn't wanna get off the floor. Then the most memorable word that came in the trip came from his drunk mouth. "DRAG ME BABY, YEAH HARDER!! PULL ME BABY!! YEAH~~!" When those words fly out we dropped his feet and look around because some people are peeking out of their door looking at who the hell is making all those noise at 11pm.

I presented Ericc with 2 option which is to knock the fella out this moment or drag him as fast as we could to his room. We decided to pick the second option and dragged him to the room, his roommate opened the door puzzle and we threw the bastard on to the bed and ran out. We were happy we got that over and done with and walked back to the elevator. We heard a loud BANG!! at the end of the corridor, a door was basically slammed open and there comes Billy!! Holy COW! Now he is playing terminator and refuses to get back into the room! His roommate was having a hard time pulling him back so we help drag him back in to the room again. This time its a little difficult, he has his leg and hands griped hard to the frame of the door. We manage to pry him from the door and this time we threw him in the toilet coz we suspected he was ready to puke, after he did we make sure he gets to bed. By the time we are done with him it is already pass 12am and we think we should better get to bed for whatever is planed for us tomorrow morning.

The horror does not end there. We were roommates with Mr.Wong and he is also drunk like a seasick crab, we thought it would be fine since he can handle more alcohol than Billy and all he does is blab non stop. Me and Ericc cleaned up and got ready to sleep, when suddenly Mr.Wong stood in front of the tv looking at us like a flirtatious trany and started to strip dance. My eyes bleed and Ericc was brain dead for a mear 5 minutes because of indecent exposure, luckily he still kept his shorts on. He then grabbed the decoration sarong from the wall and started wrapping it around himself like an Indian costume. When he got tired of dancing he sat down on the bed and started talking non stop about his life . . . . I actually recorded what he said with my MP3 and went to bed with it still recording what he said while I'm asleep. (the recording was worth it =P)

We all went for breakfast with 2 people missing in action which is Mr. Wong and Billy. Mr.Wong was still sleeping and Billy is having a bad hangover. We had fun discussing what happened last night and Billy's roommate told us his side of the story after we left the room. Apparently when Billy was sleeping facing upwards he puked like a volcano on himself. The room stinks and the cleaning lady was having a hard time. I wondered what happen if we were to put Mr.Wong and Billy together that night...the unimaginable might happen.

We had fun at the beach, the pool and the scenery. We visited the landmarks and also hunt for small waterfalls. When night came, we head back for dinner and no karaoke this time. We played cards betting on peanuts and chocolates. Well that very night i thought i can finally relax and enjoy the cold breeze from the window, I was wrong. When we played cards, Billy got over excited when he won and the moment he won after a loosing streak . . . . he grabbed hold of the hard wood chair and he jumped with it. What followed was me screaming and howling like a warewolf with a wooden stick thought the ass, apparently Billy crushed my toe when he landed with the chair after his unwanted jump of victory. = = I solely regretted that i did not take him out the night he was drunk coz he won't remember me doing it for sure. I spent the night with a bloodied toe while grinding my teeth to sleep after cleaning and bandaging it.

Basically all i remembered for that whole trip was Billy puked pretty much the whole trip after the karaoke and me with a heart full of memorable painful events.

Well i hope that this next company tip would be a memorable FUN one. Cross my fingers and hope that i enjoy it.

Till next time! Laterzzz

Anger Management

Well I certainly ain't as poetic as Shakespeare but i find that the words holds more meaning than what we would actually think of it. First and foremost, we are what we are and the choices we make is what makes us who we are. But if there is a chance you make a yourself better than who you are yesterday seem like a bad thing? Well it all depends on you actually.

There are many people out there in the world and every single soul and body out there is different in many ways. Heck! One Pamela Anderson and one Paris Hilton is enough! The world would fall into a stupidity spur if there are more of them around.

I'm absolutely certain that a person has absolute choice to control what they want and don't want to do but in a condition that we must not loose cool no matter what happen. Emotion, its the most basic element of what makes us human. But having it run out of control is the worst thing to possibly happen. Letting Eric Bana become THE HULK is one of the examples of uncontrolled rage, nobody likes it when someone is angry.

First and most impulsive emotions which makes you leap before you think. ANGER! Yes its right. We usually say things we don't mean or things that makes another persons heart felt like skewered kebabs. Worst comes to worst, the words don't come out but our bodies just speak with action straight from what we think. But hey, what would we gain from anything anger has to offer? It gives our nerves a pump they don't need, equips the heart a type of fiery spirit (definitely not a passion for something) and if its out of control, who knows what kinda things we might regret doing when the rage is over? Solution to try out, when you notice you are getting pissed, ask yourselves a few question if you can still maintain your cool.

1. Is it worth it being angry?

2. Are the things or subject you are angry about that important to be angry in the first place?

3. Does anger bring out a positive outcome in the end?

3. Would you mind if other people especially someone close to you see your outburst?

Its not a 100% will work because it also depends the individual personality or each person but at least it is still an option that we can still think of from with whatever rational thinking we have left in that state.

Money Matters

I'm very particular when it comes to spending my money where its worth what i pay for in terms of practicality & satisfaction. Money to me is a very very dear valued friend that are hard to come by but its frigging easy for you to wave them goodbye as well. Every time my buddies buzz me to go out with them, my first action will be to call them back shortly and my second order of business is to frisk my wallet. I'm practically telling my wallet "You are under arrest! Put your hands behind your head and face the wall!". Going through my mental calculator on how much is spendable and how much is untouchable no matter what happens is a daunting task especially in the starting of the month.

Study savings
RM600
Money for parents for home expenditures and utilities
RM500
Monthly Food Expenditures
RM300 (minimum)
Monthly Transportation Expenditure
RM150
Monthly Prepaid Reload
RM30
Total for Monthly Expenditures
RM1580

That is my life = =. The untouchable sum RM1580 which i have to get to survive for 1 month. The rest of the balance i have are all savings which i can spend depending on mood and situation. BUT . . . . . plans are not always what you planed them out to be . . . . . like my good friend who taught me a good phrase which is "SHIT HAPPENS".

With only a little bit to spend for fun and enjoyment. I'm always left with a dilemma which is TO SPEND OR NOT TO SPEND. . . . don't know if William Shakespeare had it easy in his days but I find it very difficult to challenge the urge to spend when you know you got not much to spend.

Opportunity cost - Something i learn from economic studies, you gain something by sacrificing the second best option. With limited resources, we can't have everything we want so we opt for the best thing we should have and leave secondary desires out. But heck! What i learn does not change the fact that I still feel like I want all of them. When i see someone playing a PSP, its like OMG! I NEED ONE! When i think about it . . . . . do i even have time to play it? I saw one of my friend with a PS3 . . . . i drooled over it and said OMG! I NEED ONE! When i think of it, I'd rather save up for a laptop which i need in college later. But on some occasion before I can think, I already spent it. The most recent incident was when i was in The Gardens, I fell in love with a Toy Bread Smiley that looks so darn cute and the moment i exited the shop . . . Darn . . . I bought something i have no real use for . . . . O well what is done is done. Apparently the toy was strongly scented with the smell of vanilla. = = Bonnie grabbed hold of my bag and refuses to let go of it till i distracted her with left over sushi which i brought home.

Alas my spending is always dominated by my left brain (Logic dictates! Live long and prosper!!) BAH! It takes the fun out of everything = =. The only thing that can make me spend without holding back is FOOD =D. Never did look at my wallet when it comes to food, Dim Sum, Sushi, Pizza, Chinese Cuisine, Italian Specialties and a lot more. Being born as the son of a hotelier, my pallets are on the mark when it comes to judging food & beverages! Oh one exception on the beverage part, I don't really drink alcohol. The most i have is a glass of wine on New Years Eve.

Sigh* What would i give to get a strike on lottery ticket . . . . . wait . . . . i don't even buy them. Sigh* What i would give if i money is miraculously appear whenever i want =p. Ha ha ha I better be careful with what i wish for because these things often has a way of biting back.

Till i have more to write about. Laterzzzzz

Treadmill Joy Ride

When i went home yesterday i discovered something was wrong with the living room, there was an additional contraption which I'm vaguely familiar with set up right in the middle with an invisible sign that says "you can walk all over me and i won't mind" Yes! Its my long awaited treadmill, a device so cruel that makes you run and run but you go no where at all~ *I likey*

So I hop on the devilish contraption and tried it out, at first i thought since i had not done much physical work out in a long while i might as well start slow to loosen up the old rusty muscles. I put my Mp3 on and started walking with Jason Mraz (Lucky) at the speed 2 which is a walking pace. Got practically carried away with the tempo of the music by Boys Like Girls (The Great Escape) and I turned up the speed 5 and started running, it was a good running pace till the song ends and played something faster which was from Linkinpark (Bleed it out) so i went faster at 6.5 I almost practically bleed it out on the treadmill that moment. Luckily the song does not last that long but when your runing it seemed forever, and then back to slow songs for me with Taylor Swift (Love Story) with speed 3. Its a fast and slow run mix decided by the random plays of the songs on my handy Mp3.

In the end I survived a 3 Km run thinking i can still reach the 5 Km mark after a gazilion years of non-physical excersice. My legs felt like logs and I think my dog is laughing at me = =. Bonnie is a Golden Retriever and she is a bitch. We usualy don't let her in the house but that night I let her in on purpose coz it does feels awfully quiet in the house when no one is around. She can stay in till the very moment I hear my parents on the front gate =p have to chase her out before that.

This morning i practically overslept, luckily for me its laundry day where my mom wakes up at 6.30 am to turn on the washing machine so that she can dry em out later at 8 am. So i got a loud knock on my door and i draged my feet and pry my lazy ass from the embrace of my dear darling bed. Belive me it wasn't easy coz I realized I overdid my excersice on the treadmil and now my body is aching all over. Well its gonna be a rutine to get on the treadmill, might as well get use to it.

Well the thought of my mom holding a whip with my dad on the treadmill seemed funny enough, since my dad hardly does anything physical at all in the house. Basicly my dad is retired because of health issues, high blood presure, diabetics, gouts, kidney problems and a whole lot of mean things. But the thing is he needs excercise to keep him healthy, when someone has kidney problems they are resticted to low protein and low potasium diets. Because these 2 element gives alot of work to your kidney and when you have a damage kidney, doctors would advice you to go on these diets to reduce the workload the kidney has to take. With a low protien diet you will lose muscle mass. My dad practically shriveled to a thin bony figure with the diet compared to his previous jolly belly status. The weight loss he got was a good sign but it comes at a high price which is his muscles. = = Diet my mom prepares for him made the doctors happy for a reason which is my dad takes a few less medication and from the charts doctor saw my dad was improving health wise. The doctor adviced that he talk some walking excercise to help him improve his muscles. http://www.scienceblog.com/community/older/archives/H/usda607.html

But the main issue now is his muscle loss which made him weak. We tried morning walks during my day off but just after one day he complains that his feet and leg hurts and so on. = = I basicly find it pathetic looking at him complain about the pain. From my point of view its only muscle aches and not real pain which is what he felt. One we get use to the excersice we won't feel much then doing it routinely. We all feel it when after we excercise because out muscles uses borrowed energy when oxigen is insufficient to provide energy for your muscles to burn. Just after one day he gives up and refuses to go for a walk the next morning.

So we temporarily gave up in making him take a morning walk because he likes to hide himself with petty excuses. Its just walking >_< its not a marathon. So we went to the mall for food supplies and a treadmill caught his attention. Heck!! it caught my attention too because I'm lazy to jog outside the house and i always wanted to get one =p. Mom hatches a plan while we drool on the machine and make us promise to use it every single day without fail because its FRIGGIN EXPENSIVE just to get one. I'm all happy agreeing to the terms but the main man which this contraption is targeted at nods his head too. Practically I'm skeptical if he would really stick to the routine to slowly walk on the machine for 20 minutes minimum on a slow pace. Well time will tell but i do hope he does coz with just skin and bones looked so awkwards on my dad.

More to write when i think of something. Laterzzzz

My first ever blog O_o

Well its my first ever written diary online and made public...don't think its even a dairy if its made public though. Alright! Down to introductions.I'm Jonathan Yeo, 24 this year and my dream is to be a game designer. My interest in games are RPG fantasy, I love stories and i love writing them. I'm an addict to mainstream music, i play keyboard, piano and a little guitar. God knows how bad my skills have rusted because i have not touched any of the instruments for ages but i'm still proud of the fact that my beats and timing are still perfect. Might be single for life (affraid of making and keeping relationships because i don't know if i can commit myself to it) if i ever make a girl cry my guilt is gonna haunt me till i die.

Life is a roller coaster- Hmmm there is good and bad in everything and it all happens for a reason. Well usually more shit happens than miracles. I try to be as understanding as possible, life is too short for drama and taking sides will make my life shorter. Worrying about things that canot be changed no matter what the outcome is a waste of time, unless worrying does help in solving problems then by all means start worrying.

Even when i said life is too short for drama but in the office, drama is un-avoidable in certain times. Thank the high heavens I'm not involved in any of them, being a spectator has its perks. I'll leave the work topic aside for a while. It tends to get touchy when i start about the topic.

What am i doing now?

1. I'm gonna go back to studies in July 29th in one of the most notorious of colleges.

2. I'm gonna work and study full time. Yes you heard it. Work full time study full time, alot of people call me crazy for even atempting it but i see no other immediate salution coz i'm not getting any younger. Oh and the last thing i would ever do is to ask financial help from my parents because they are already retired. = = not nice to break thier bank if they are hapily having candle light dinners in the house when i'm not around (GO DAD!).

3. My game writing is on going, imagining skills and going through the dictionary to see what descriptions can best describe the effect of the skill. Thankfully my dad is english educated which resulted in my westernize writing and speaking, I hardly find any words which are outside of my vocabulary range in normal speaking terms, shakespears is still out of my range of untilization.

4. I'm helping out an independant game studio called Acid Labs in their game called "Project Dream" which is about Amanda a daughter of a scientist who studies dreams and some how there is a whole new world in dreams itself and things got messy. Go to http://acidlabstudios.com/index.html to check out the story.

Thats all for my first blog. Laterzzz.